Most times, we get caught up in relationships that we tend to make excuses for our partner; ‘Maybe he is in a bad mood’, ‘Maybe she has had a rough day’, ‘I may have said what I said the wrong way’, and so many other excuses we come up with when our partner flares up and displays anger tendencies. Does it even cross your mind that it may not be related to anything you did? He or she may just have anger management issues. We often assume that it is ok for people to act out even violently when they are angry. Well, it is not normal or even right.
The biggest obstacle for people with anger problems is denying that it is true. Learning to stop it is not as easy as people want to think. Anger problems are deeply rooted and can be difficult to manage especially without professional help. People with anger problems tend to hurt those they love and even act violently without meaning to. Staying around hoping he or she will change or your love for each other will make everything right might just be endangering your life and exposing yourself to a lot of emotional and even physical trauma.
It is true that most people cannot hide their true nature for so long especially among people they truly care about. This is because we are most vulnerable and open to those we love but it is also true that most times, we choose to ignore the signs of anger or other negative behavior we perceive in those we love. We prefer to hold on to whatever fantasy we have of them and believe that everything will turn out fine. While being positive is commendable, being realistic and objective helps us prevent possible events and saves us from regrets and harm that comes with neglecting our instincts.
So, the next time your partner is quick to become angry, yell or throw things or you notice any of the following in your partner or yourself;
Criticizing, belittling, putting down
Lack of patience
Irritability and short temper
Blaming everyone and everything else
When you get angry you shut down or withdraw
People avoid you
Partner, kids, family members are afraid to talk to you
People feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you
Then it is time to reassess things, talk about it with your partner and seek professional help. If he or she is willing and open to solution, great! But if not, you may want to consider walking away or staying at your own risk!